


Finding Sammy

by Lennelle



Series: Next of Kin [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Purgatory Dean Winchester, Post-Season/Series 07 AU, Sam Winchester and Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 00:46:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10293611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lennelle/pseuds/Lennelle
Summary: Dean misses his brother.





	

In the mirror, he sees a different person. He remembers the filth of purgatory, wading through blood and guts, hacking his way from one end to the other, nothing but adrenaline and a fight for survival. Kill or be killed. Dean fit in there a little too well. He's clean now, hair still dripping from Jody's shower. Sometimes he misses the thrill of it. How pure it was, nothing but life and death. And the whole time, Sam was on his mind.

The purplish skin on his throat is blossoming. He was spat out of Purgatory with fresh new skin, no scars, no broken nose. Each time he's brought back from the dead it's like he's given a full reset. The bruises on his throat make him feel a little more real.

He scrubs the last beads of water from his hair and slips his t-shirt back on. He needs to talk to someone. He needs to talk to Sam, but that isn't happening any time soon, and he's trying to avoid Jody and her sad smiles and constant questions, so that leaves Dean with no one. But... there is someone.

He fishes his cell out of his jeans pocket. This one is brand knew, his old phone was crushed under a werewolf's foot, and it only has a couple of numbers on it. He scrolls down and finds who he's looking for.

They pick up immediately. _"Dean?"_

"Hey, Benny."

_"It's good to hear from you, chief."_

"Yeah. It's good to hear from you too, Benny."

_"How are you? Did you find your brother?"_

Dean glances in the mirror, looks again at his bruised neck. He scrubs a hand through his hair and turns away. "Yeah, I found him. Anyway, how's the twenty-first century treating you?"

Benny pauses for a split second then says, _"It's different... I'm still getting used to the portable phone thing. Just been visiting my old stomping grounds. Things are good, chief. Don't you worry."_

Dean smiles. "Who said I was worrying?"

_"Just callin' me to say 'hey'?"_

"Yeah. That's it," Dean says with a sigh. "I should be going, Benny. You be good, okay?"

"Always am, brother. I'll be seeing ya."

Benny hangs up and Dean is left alone again. He figures now he should go and see Jody, but Jody does nothing but remind him of what's wrong with Sam, and maybe Dean wants to pretend to be ignorant a little while longer. In the bathroom, he can pretend Sam is fine. He'll slice off a vamp's head like it's a part of his morning routine, but he runs away like a child when he has to face his own problems.

Well, he has to man up some time.

Jody is sitting at the kitchen table, stirring a mug of tea. "Sleep well?" she asks.

"Like a freakin' baby," Dean answers, dropping tiredly into the seat next to her.

She stares at the bruises on his neck. "Does it hurt? I have painkillers if you want them."

"Nah," Dean says. He gently probes the tender skin. "It's fine."

She raises an eyebrow and Dean expects her to call him out on his bullshit, but she doesn't say anything. She takes a sip of her tea. "I've got work in an hour, but I'll be going by the hospital to check on Sam. They might not allow him visitors after he - after what happened last night, but I want ask how he's doing. Do you want me to pick you up after I finish work?"

"I'm good."

Again, he expects disapproval, but Jody just nods understandingly. She gets to her feet and moves over to the kitchen drawers, reaching into the third one down and pulling out a set of keys. She hands them over to Dean, and Dean stares at them in his palm and wonders what they're for. Then, he recognises them. He looks up and Jody is smiling.

"She's here?" he asks.

She snorts. "Your _car_ is in the garage."

Dean is on his feet in a second, and standing in the garage in the next. His baby is as beautiful as ever, she looks well maintained, her coat shining. He hops behind the wheel and runs his hand smoothly along it.

"Took me a while to track it down," Jody says from the doorway.

"Oh baby, I missed you," Dean coos, brushing his fingers across the leather seats. He pops his head out of the window. "You looked after her this whole time?"

"Sam was," Jody says. "Any time he stayed with me he'd clean it everyday to make sure it wouldn't gather any dust. Kept saying you'd kill him if the car got dirty."

"Not 'it', Jody. She's more than just a car."

Jody steps into the room and leans against the car door. "And you just ignored everything I said about Sam."

Dean fiddles with the radio. "No. I heard. I'm glad he took care of her."

Jody sighs. "Dean, you can't keep ignoring this, ignoring _him_. It won't make the problem go away. If you want to fix this, you have to face it."

"He doesn't believe I'm me, Jody. He doesn't want to see me."

"Oh, that's bullshit!" Jody snaps.

Dean quickly turns the radio off and slumps back in the seat as Jody climbs in next to him.

"I've been with him this past year, Dean," she says, calmer than she was a moment ago. "He struggled without you, Dean. Losing you is what broke him in the first place. And I... I've tried my best to take care of him, but I know I'm not enough. He always needed you. He still does. You just have to be patient, you need to be there for him. I know, I just _know_ that having you there will help him get better."

Dean takes a deep breath, his right hand grips the steering wheel instinctively. It feels so familiar. "I missed him," he sighs, "and I guess I still do."

"You don't need to. He's still the same Sam, even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes. I didn't know Sam all that well before, but I've see him when he's doing better, Dean. Setbacks like this have happened before and he always comes back from it."

She smiles and pats him on the knee. "I have to get going," she says. "I'll call you when I finish work. In the meantime, help yourself to anything from the fridge." She climbs out of the passenger seat and makes her way back to the house, but she pauses in the doorway. "Dean, Sam's room is the one opposite mine. Take a look and see that your brother is still there. Okay?"

He stays in the Impala until he hears Jody's truck pulling out of the driveway, then he heads back inside. He finds a beer in the fridge and makes a breakfast of it on the couch, trying to catch up on the last year by watching the news. Strangely, there's not much to report. After an hour or so of pacing around the house, he finds his way to the room opposite Jody's.

It looks a lot like the room Dean slept in last night with wooden flooring, cream walls and burgundy drapes. It's spacious and clean. On the desk there's a stack of books, Dean looks through them and recognises Sam's favourites, and at the bottom is _Slaughterhouse 5_. Sam was never a fan, but Dean always was. Tacked up on the wall by the bed are a few faded photographs. Dean with their mom, both of them with their dad, the two of them laughing together at Bobby's.

And there, hooked on the corner of the headboard, so small that Dean almost doesn't see it, is a gold-horned pendant on a thick black string.


End file.
